How to Negotiate Your Worth as an Estate Manager
My message to EMs suffering from lack of appreciation is simple: don’t self-loathe—self-advocate.
Estate management is a high-stakes profession to which you are bringing your exceptional organizational skills, instinctive discretion, and a superpower for managing diverse teams and complex projects. So why are so many EMs struggling to negotiate compensation that reflects their true value?
Whether you're taking baby steps in the field or a seasoned pro, advocating for your worth is essential—not just for your career growth, but also for safeguarding your balance and satisfaction.
I know it’s easier said than done, so here's my guide on how to approach negotiations with confidence and clarity.
1. Understand Your Unique Value
Start with yourself.
Before entering any negotiation, take time to assess the value you bring to the table. Ask yourself:
What specific skills, certifications, or experience set you apart from other estate managers?
How have your efforts directly contributed to your client’s goals, such as cost savings, increased efficiency, or elevated quality of life?
Are there specialized services you provide (e.g., event planning, sustainability initiatives, or tech-savvy solutions) that go above and beyond?
Quantify your achievements where you can. For example, if you optimized vendor contracts and saved your client $50,000 last year, that’s concrete evidence of your impact.
Now you know what you’re worth. You’re off to a good start!
2. Research the Market
Knowledge is power when negotiating. Research compensation standards for estate managers in your region, as well as those managing estates of a similar size or complexity.
Take into account factors such as:
The number of properties you oversee
The size of the staff you manage
Any additional responsibilities, such as budgeting, security oversight, or travel coordination
This information not only ensures your expectations are realistic but also equips you with data to back up your request.
In other words, you know your request is reasonable, and have the facts to fight your corner.
3. Prepare to Articulate Your Worth
One of the biggest hurdles in negotiating is actually being able to confidently communicate your value. Approach the conversation like a business proposal:
Lead with your strengths: Open with specific examples of your successes and the positive outcomes you’ve delivered.
Frame it as a win-win: Emphasize how your skills and contributions directly benefit the client. For example, "By streamlining vendor contracts, I’ve saved significant costs while maintaining high service standards."
Be clear about your ask: Instead of saying, "I’d like to discuss my compensation," state your case directly. For example, "Given my contributions, I believe a salary adjustment to [$X] is appropriate."
Pro tip: You know how you and your client speak to each other. Adapt the above examples so things don’t sound jarringly cold, but do take care to keep the register formal and always prepare wording beforehand. This is one of those conversations that will shape your working relationship.
4. Negotiate Beyond Salary
What if your employer isn’t immediately open to a higher salary? Consider negotiating other benefits that add value to your role. These might include:
More vacation time
A professional development allowance for certifications or conferences
Flexible scheduling or remote work options
Housing, transportation, or other perks tied to the estate
Pro tip: Avoid a sense of “consolation prizes”. Choose benefits you can demonstrate as improving your performance, benefiting both you and the client. And make sure they’re things you actually want, otherwise, keep your negotiation leverage for next time.
5. Know When to Walk Away
Negotiations won’t always go your way, and that’s okay. If your client isn’t willing to meet you halfway or consistently undervalues your contributions, it may be time to explore new opportunities.
Remember, your skills and experience are in demand. Estate management is a niche field, and high-caliber professionals are always sought after.
If you decide to sunset this job, just go back to step 1 and remind yourself why it’s time to move on to a place where your unique value is recognized.
Being your own champion
Negotiating your worth as an estate manager isn’t about being boastful or pushy—it’s about recognizing your value and advocating for fair compensation. With preparation, confidence, and a clear understanding of the impact you bring to the role, you can take back ownership of your reputation, ensuring that your hard work is reflected in your compensation.