33 Lessons on a 33rd birthday
I wrote these words a few days after celebrating turning 33. Not a particularly important number, but one I felt had a symmetry pleasing enough to make it worth a pause for reflection.
As I did, I realized just how much my career – I’m an estate manager in the high-octane Miami market - has shaped me. Managing properties for Ultra High Net Worth clients certainly comes with a unique set of challenges and rewards.
A lot of what I’ve picked up while getting my business to where it is today, truly are skills for life. So here goes: 33 lessons from a 33-year-old estate manager:
Things take longer than you think they will. Always. Whether you’re prepping a living room for a client’s baby shower or trying to get to your best friend’s, always allow for extra time.
Don’t overload your schedule. Saying yes to everything leads to burnout. I don’t know if it’s harder to say “no” to a dear friend or a potential client, but both are vital skills, the mastery of which will upgrade your mental health.
Documentation is key. I learned the hard way that not documenting procedures or incidents can come back to bite you later. Being an EM helped me get my personal and financial “ducks in a row” and saved me some real headaches (not to say heartaches).
Maintain updated records: Keeping inventories up-to-date saves you from scrambling when clients need something immediately. Applying the same to my own life saw me value more the things I can’t live without and get rid of a lot of stuff I didn’t. Both felt good.
Don’t put off maintenance. Procrastination on upkeep always leads to bigger, more expensive issues down the road. Am I talking about a client’s property or my own physical, mental and financial health? Both of course.
Small issues grow. Something as minor as a leaky faucet can spiral into a major inconvenience if ignored. A conversation you’re putting off can do far worse.
Too available? I used to think being always accessible was a strength. It turns out, it’s a fast track to exhaustion. See point 2.
Define roles clearly. Your team can’t meet expectations if they don’t know what’s expected of them. Nor can your significant other. Nor can you. See point 6!
Learn to delegate. There’s power in letting go. Trying to do it all will only slow you down. Hard truth: it may not look like it, but this could well be the hardest one on the list.
Trust your team. Once you delegate, trust that your staff can handle their responsibilities. Micromanagement helps no one. Same goes for any friends or family you enlist when you need help. People respond better to “I trust you” than nagging and nitpicking, and the former is a lot less stressful for you too.
Track expenses meticulously. Budgets can get out of control quickly if you’re not careful about monitoring spending. My professional life has taught my personal life that there’s a time and a place for the big spends but frugality, far from a defect, is a virtue that brings sweet control to your life. Points 3 and 4 are key allies to 11.
Negotiate. As an EM, I’ve learned that vendors are often willing to offer better rates or terms if you simply ask. I used to wince at the thought of asking for money off a car, a mortgage, a new suit. Now I’m a natural. Here’s the secret, people expect it (and often even enjoy it).
Take time to breathe. Estate management can be intense. When I finally started blocking space in my calendar to step back and take time for myself to avoid burnout, it was a breakthrough in my personal life. Create “white spaces” and protect them fiercely.
Adaptability is key. As an EM in Miami, no two days are ever the same. Learning flexibility, for instance, has made me a much better person to go on holiday with than I was in my twenties!
Make your values a dealbreaker. It’s okay to turn down tasks or clients that don’t align with your priorities or values. It’s also okay to leave a chat, decide not to buy a product, or skip a restaurant. Acting against our beliefs eventually makes us miserable.
Invest in relationships. Vendors, staff, and even clients - building strong, respectful relationships will make everything run smoother and more sustainably. With friends in Miami and in my native Italy, I have to mindfully invest time in the folks that are truly important to me. And point 7 is key here, as time is a precious resource.
The devil is in the details – Paying attention to the smallest details ensures nothing gets overlooked. This one was a personality trait I’ve always had that I applied to my career. I love getting it just right and get just as big of a kick from wowing my dinner guests as that high-value client.
Efficiency over perfection. Sometimes, done is better than perfect. Focus on results, not just the process. They do say procrastination is often directly linked to perfectionism.
Keep learning. Estate management, like any industry, is constantly evolving. So is the world around us. Resources spent on betterment, whether professional or personal, are never wasted.
Embrace tech. Having to lean on tools to streamline processes and manage properties more efficiently has helped me see tech as an ally to preserve my precious time for what matters (which includes religiously doing nothing from time to time).
Self-care is crucial. You can’t serve others effectively if you’re running on empty. Prioritize your well-being (doing nothing from time to time is a great place to start).
Celebrate the wins. Take time to appreciate your successes, no matter how small.
Listen then act. Listening to your team, vendors, and clients often solves problems before they arise. The same is true for the beloved – and the difficult – people in your own life. See point 6.
Honesty builds trust. I’m blessed with open and sincere relationships in my circle, but applying this transparency to your staff and clients will foster long-term loyalty.
Boundaries matter. Without them, work can easily spill into personal life. Set clear limits and stick to them.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Whether it’s your team or a fellow estate manager, leaning on others for advice can be a game-changer. Now, do you find that easier or harder to do when it comes to your circle?
Learn to love your mistakes. First of all, they’re inevitable. Secondly, in work and in life, the lessons they teach are the most important you’ll get.
Be proactive, not reactive. Don’t let life happen to you. Get out ahead of it. What point 6’s in your job and in your emotional life can you go attack today? Get back in the driving seat.
Expectations evolve. What worked yesterday may not work tomorrow. Staying tuned to my client’s ever-changing needs made me see the importance of checking in with people.
Communication is everything. How do you talk to people? How often? When? Do you ensure you’re in the right headspace before a given conversation? Start being mindful about your communication and you’ll lay stronger foundations in every aspect of your life.
Celebrate your team. You’ve got great people around you. That’s a blessing. Celebrate staff and celebrate friends. Who doesn’t need a bit of positivity and motivation in their life?
Stay humble. No matter how far you’ve come, there’s always more to learn. Always.
Gratitude goes a long way. Taking a moment to appreciate the journey, the lessons, and the people who support you makes all the difference.
I’ll admit, point 33 started a little higher on the list (and it could easily be the most important), but it felt like the perfect point to end on. I suppose the overarching lesson my career has taught me is that good practices are always worth pursuing, and it’s important to invest time and resources into what truly matters. All that’s left is to express my gratitude to you, the reader, and say, ‘here’s to the next 33 years.